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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Professor Punches

Suburban Nightmares Conceptual
RECORD 17W 6L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Professor Punches

LORE

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Combat Attributes

Strength
80
Speed
75
Endurance
85
Technique
95

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type B+
Horoscope Gemini
Molecular Density 3.1
Existential Dread 40
Fingers 11
Toes 9
Ancestors 156
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights