TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
Darryl Blueberry
Strength50
Speed72
Endurance63
Technique125
Molecular Density76.8
Existential Dread77
Fingers12
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Darryl Blueberry VS SwizzleSchtick
SwizzleSchtick
50Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
33.3Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
SwizzleSchtick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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