TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
Mookie Sanders
Strength118
Speed100
Endurance20
Technique62
Molecular Density84.6
Existential Dread92
Fingers9
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mookie Sanders VS Count Dankula
Count Dankula
93Strength
54Speed
76Endurance
77Technique
14.2Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
15Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mookie Sanders
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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