TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
Stapler Steve “Office Ninja”
Strength83
Speed82
Endurance58
Technique67
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread22
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stapler Steve “Office Ninja” VS Thilly Gooth
Thilly Gooth
80Strength
50Speed
108Endurance
62Technique
86.3Molecular Density
81Existential Dread
12Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Thilly Gooth
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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