TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-07-25
APPROVED
99 Cent Store Samurai
Strength90
Speed78
Endurance75
Technique74
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread47
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
99 Cent Store Samurai VS Unanswered Text Anxiety
Unanswered Text Anxiety
80Strength
63Speed
78Endurance
76Technique
2.1Molecular Density
93Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
99 Cent Store Samurai
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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