TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Dr. Membrane PhD
Strength38
Speed72
Endurance81
Technique119
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dr. Membrane PhD VS Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Bigfoot Believer Brenda
94Strength
87Speed
83Endurance
71Technique
4.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dr. Membrane PhD
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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