TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Fresh Rodriguez
Strength76
Speed92
Endurance71
Technique101
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread35
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fresh Rodriguez VS Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Bigfoot Believer Brenda
94Strength
87Speed
83Endurance
71Technique
4.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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