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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 13, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Pangolin Ruiz

Pangolin Ruiz

Strength80
Speed50
Endurance95
Technique70
Molecular Density4.8
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pangolin Ruiz VS Shrek
Shrek

Shrek

95Strength
50Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
4.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Pangolin Ruiz
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule