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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 13, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike

Moldy Shower Curtain Mike

Strength77
Speed74
Endurance76
Technique73
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread52
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike VS The Mysterious Bathroom Smell
The Mysterious Bathroom Smell

The Mysterious Bathroom Smell

85Strength
65Speed
73Endurance
77Technique
1.3Molecular Density
61Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Mysterious Bathroom Smell
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule