TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
Cracked iPhone Screen
Strength67
Speed67
Endurance65
Technique101
Molecular Density23.4
Existential Dread44
Fingers11
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Cracked iPhone Screen VS Cell Longarms
Cell Longarms
60Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
22Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Cell Longarms
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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