TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-14-25
APPROVED
Line Number Linda
Strength50
Speed30
Endurance100
Technique95
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Line Number Linda VS Fists McExistential
Fists McExistential
89Strength
61Speed
72Endurance
63Technique
0.9Molecular Density
97Existential Dread
8Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fists McExistential
Violence concluded.
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