TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-14-25
APPROVED
Bolognese Blitz
Strength90
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique60
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread30
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bolognese Blitz VS Page 666
Page 666
80Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
2.2Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Page 666
Violence concluded.
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