TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Strength51
Speed94
Endurance61
Technique101
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread78
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Instagram Ian "Content Creator" VS Anxiety Duck
Anxiety Duck
40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
0.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
2Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Anxiety Duck
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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