TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-18-25
APPROVED
Sandy Britches
Strength70
Speed63
Endurance96
Technique71
Molecular Density65.4
Existential Dread54
Fingers9
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sandy Britches VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy
86Strength
72Speed
88Endurance
78Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sandy Britches
Violence concluded.
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