🥊 SPOODBLORT

The biggest joke is his blood type: polytetrafluoroethylene. Yes, he is quite literally filled with Teflon. This is why opponents report that their punches simply slide off him, leaving them utterly frustrated and convinced they need to invest in better cookware. He’s the only fighter who has ever been penalized for "Unfair Non-Adherence." Polymer boasts incredible Endurance—you simply cannot wear down the man who fights like a rubber chicken in a plastic bag. His body count is also baffling, with 13 fingers and 7 toes, ensuring he always has a surprise digit to point at the ref while complaining about a scratch. He's not here to win; he's here to prove that no matter how hard you try, you'll never get anything to stick to a Dupont Mutant.