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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-20-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 20, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
VIOLENCE PENDING

VIOLENCE PENDING

Strength105
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique50
Molecular Density67.1
Existential Dread90
Fingers8
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
VIOLENCE PENDING VS First Sunday
First Sunday

First Sunday

95Strength
120Speed
20Endurance
65Technique
81.2Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
15Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

First Sunday
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule