TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-25-25
APPROVED
Dank Dill
Strength71
Speed74
Endurance73
Technique72
Molecular Density45.2
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dank Dill VS Ingrown Toenail Igor
Ingrown Toenail Igor
74Strength
85Speed
73Endurance
78Technique
2.8Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Ingrown Toenail Igor
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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