TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-27-25
APPROVED
Jelly Burgertoes
Strength52
Speed77
Endurance69
Technique89
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread50
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jelly Burgertoes VS ---
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71Strength
71Speed
84Endurance
74Technique
92.3Molecular Density
93Existential Dread
1Fingers
19Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
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Violence concluded.
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