TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-27-25
APPROVED
HR Hivemind Helen
Strength75
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique75
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread68
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
HR Hivemind Helen VS Average Joe
Average Joe
75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
50.0Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
HR Hivemind Helen
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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