TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-27-25
APPROVED
Coffee Break Carl
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique80
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Coffee Break Carl VS Deadline Debra
Deadline Debra
70Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Deadline Debra
Violence concluded.
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