TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-27-25
APPROVED
Bolognese Blitz
Strength90
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique60
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread30
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bolognese Blitz VS Too Many Tabs Open
Too Many Tabs Open
70Strength
80Speed
60Endurance
90Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
20Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Too Many Tabs Open
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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