TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-01-25
APPROVED
404 Not Found
Strength85
Speed95
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Not Found VS Nicolas Cage
Nicolas Cage
70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
100Technique
2.3Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
404 Not Found
Violence concluded.
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