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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 1, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mayhem Breakfast

Mayhem Breakfast

Strength75
Speed88
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

95Strength
65Speed
88Endurance
75Technique
4.2Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule