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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 3, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Gross Gary

Gross Gary

Strength75
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique65
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gross Gary VS Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

45Strength
40Speed
95Endurance
98Technique
1.1Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
8Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Violence concluded.
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