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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Scroll Forever Susan

Scroll Forever Susan

Strength45
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique92
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Scroll Forever Susan VS Tucan Shakur
Tucan Shakur

Tucan Shakur

120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
75.8Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
14Fingers
13Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Tucan Shakur
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule