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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 4, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Yogurt the Destroyer

Yogurt the Destroyer

Strength92
Speed48
Endurance95
Technique65
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yogurt the Destroyer VS Reverb
Reverb

Reverb

77Strength
94Speed
53Endurance
76Technique
0.7Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Reverb
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule