TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-02-25
APPROVED
Copay Carl
Strength75
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Copay Carl VS Tale of the Broken Elevator
Tale of the Broken Elevator
80Strength
60Speed
90Endurance
95Technique
2.7Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Copay Carl
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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