TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-04-25
APPROVED
Beef Supreme
Strength97
Speed62
Endurance85
Technique72
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Supreme VS Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
55Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
1.6Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beef Supreme
Violence concluded.
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