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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 4, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Comfort Gecko

Comfort Gecko

Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Grill Master Gary
Grill Master Gary

Grill Master Gary

90Strength
55Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
2.9Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Comfort Gecko
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule