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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 2, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"

Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"

Strength70
Speed95
Endurance75
Technique80
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread65
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious" VS Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish

Comfort Septemberish

50Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule