TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-15-25
APPROVED
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread82
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die" VS Bacon Windfall
Bacon Windfall
88Strength
70Speed
82Endurance
78Technique
2.8Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
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Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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