TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-15-25
APPROVED
Glizzy Goblin
Strength75
Speed71
Endurance95
Technique80
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread78
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Glizzy Goblin VS YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Glizzy Goblin
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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