TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-18-25
APPROVED
Artisanal Windbreaker
Strength42
Speed65
Endurance48
Technique68
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread92
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Artisanal Windbreaker VS Baby Triumphant
Baby Triumphant
35Strength
60Speed
30Endurance
98Technique
0.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
5Fingers
5Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Baby Triumphant
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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