TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
Snack Attack Stan
Strength70
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snack Attack Stan VS Leftover Larry
Leftover Larry
60Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
80Technique
2.7Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snack Attack Stan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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