TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
HOA Sniper Sally
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique75
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread77
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
HOA Sniper Sally VS The Leaf Blower
The Leaf Blower
90Strength
80Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
3.1Molecular Density
32Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Leaf Blower
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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