TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-19-25
APPROVED
Brisket Friendo
Strength85
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique75
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Brisket Friendo VS guwap
guwap
87Strength
60Speed
76Endurance
77Technique
96.7Molecular Density
56Existential Dread
13Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Brisket Friendo
Violence concluded.
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