TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-20-25
APPROVED
Loch Ness Monster
Strength81
Speed69
Endurance71
Technique69
Molecular Density28.4
Existential Dread62
Fingers15
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Loch Ness Monster VS Nesticle
Nesticle
70Strength
83Speed
78Endurance
69Technique
48.5Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
7Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Loch Ness Monster
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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