TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-20-25
APPROVED
Out of Network Nancy
Strength78
Speed66
Endurance79
Technique77
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Out of Network Nancy VS Prior Authorization Paul
Prior Authorization Paul
83Strength
70Speed
69Endurance
78Technique
2.9Molecular Density
58Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Prior Authorization Paul
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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