TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
Background Blur Betty
Strength55
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Background Blur Betty VS Soccer Mom Supreme
Soccer Mom Supreme
75Strength
95Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
2.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Soccer Mom Supreme
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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