TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
Professor Punishment PhD
Strength65
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique98
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Professor Punishment PhD VS Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr
45Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Professor Punishment PhD
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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