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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, August 4, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"

Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance90
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death" VS Dank Dill
Dank Dill

Dank Dill

75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
45.2Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule