TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-22-25
APPROVED
Polymer McGillicuddy
Strength88
Speed75
Endurance91
Technique80
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Polymer McGillicuddy VS Teflon Moonbeam
Teflon Moonbeam
80Strength
85Speed
81Endurance
88Technique
3.7Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Teflon Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
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