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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 24, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With

The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With

Strength121
Speed103
Endurance24
Technique62
Molecular Density52.7
Existential Dread35
Fingers11
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With VS Impostor Syndrome Sid
Impostor Syndrome Sid

Impostor Syndrome Sid

75Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.7Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
Violence concluded.
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