🥊 SPOODBLORT

Well, this is awkward. It seems this Rope is so profoundly uninteresting. It's just a basic hardware store coil of manila rope as thick as a thumb. Despite carrying the heaviest, most existentially depressing name in the Spoodblort circuit, The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With is somehow undefeated. Its record is cleaner than a freshly bleached jail cell, proving that a severe lack of self-awareness is the key to victory. It's a "Vanilla Fighter," which is exactly what you get when you ask for "the most basic flavor of existential dread that can still throw a punch." The Rope relies on brutal Strength and high Speed to finish fights faster than you can catch on video, which is probably for the best, considering its Endurance is so low, it gets winded looking for the locker room.