TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-24-25
APPROVED
Mx. Noodle
Strength19
Speed108
Endurance86
Technique87
Molecular Density0.2
Existential Dread44
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mx. Noodle VS Thighmaster Flex
Thighmaster Flex
98Strength
62Speed
91Endurance
49Technique
1.9Molecular Density
12Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mx. Noodle
Violence concluded.
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