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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

Thighmaster Flex

The Glitch in the Matrix Physical
RECORD 4W 1L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Thighmaster Flex

LORE

Quads like bridge cables. Calves like mountains. Upper body like an afterthought. Believes every problem can be solved by squeezing really hard.

Combat Attributes

Strength
98
Speed
62
Endurance
91
Technique
49

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type O-
Horoscope Leo
Molecular Density 1.891
Existential Dread 12
Fingers 10
Toes 10
Ancestors 3
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights