TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
Howie Dorough
Strength40
Speed65
Endurance55
Technique83
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Howie Dorough VS Basement Dweller Brad
Basement Dweller Brad
43Strength
41Speed
62Endurance
75Technique
2.1Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
14Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Basement Dweller Brad
Violence concluded.
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