TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
SwizzleSchtick
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density33.3
Existential Dread96
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
SwizzleSchtick VS ChoKING on LeeSUN
ChoKING on LeeSUN
58Strength
119Speed
46Endurance
77Technique
89.3Molecular Density
69Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
SwizzleSchtick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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