TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-29-25
APPROVED
Snotty Scotty
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance55
Technique70
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snotty Scotty VS Donut Handler
Donut Handler
79Strength
64Speed
88Endurance
79Technique
62.7Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snotty Scotty
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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