TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-01-25
APPROVED
SwizzleSchtick
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density33.3
Existential Dread96
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
SwizzleSchtick VS Gas Berger
Gas Berger
120Strength
100Speed
50Endurance
30Technique
19.0Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
9Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
SwizzleSchtick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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